This is no sweepstakes–everyone’s a winner. When we were away last week in Provincetown we had the mail held, obviously, so I received 7 days of mail all at once this afternoon. This is a perfect afternoon to profile… all the college-related mail I got in that week! Exciting!

Without further ado, and in no particular order:

Colgate University messed up again. Readers will recall that I called them out a few weeks ago for sending me a postcard of a skeleton. I thought that was about the worst it could have gotten, unless they were planning to advertise some special “Skin condition epidemiology lab!” How wrong I was! I have a new postcard from them which has a student drowning. That’s right. Someone in the Lineberry Natatorium is sinking to the bottom of the postcard, his air clearly escaping to the top. This man is dying and the University has the audacity to photograph him instead of rescuing him? He has this look in his eyes of “please help me, I’m dying!” On the back there is a simple “Please visit us.” with the times that that is possible. I don’t know the fate of this guy, but it can’t have ended without some CPR. Unflattering. Someone should drown this ad campaign.

Amherst College sent me a 2011 First-Year Application, which is funny because I never asked for one. It’s not like they sent me a viewbook first, they just sent me the application. It has a nice purple / pink color to it, which reminds me of Williams’ purple. Amherst and Williams are reasonably similar so it’s probably unfair that I retain interest in Williams after having removed Amherst from my list with the rest of the small rural liberal arts colleges. What can I say? I must really like the people at EphBlog. I took Amherst off because of its purported love affair with Athletics. The application (yes, I read it, why not?) had a special part about “athletic background information [optional]” as well as an “art background” supplement. An athletic supplement to the supplement to the common app? Why, it fits right into the stereotype I had to rely upon for Amherst for lack of more information. Too bad they didn’t send me more information before they spent the money to send me the application; seems a little bit counter-intuitive to me.

Carnegie Mellon sent me a nice little card inviting me (cordially) to their Fall 2006 Information Sessions. I like Carnegie Mellon, but I took them off my list after I took them off my visit-list when I did some more visits back in July; they were too close to Cleveland and too far from anything else on the route. I feel bad about their exclusion on a basically geographic basis, which is why I still occasionally think back to them. This card is cute, well-made, and well-thought out. Too bad I won’t be able to get over to CMU to take one of the information sessions; I’d like to.

Georgetown College… not Georgetown University. “Viewbook Volume 2″ was sent to me. It’s a pamphlet, more or less. Sort of overblown grungy-looking photography combined with fisheye lenses can contribute to making Georgetown Kentucky seem more urban than it really is, but even stealth shots of Lexington, KY wouldn’t fool me. Orange is my favorite color and this is a bad use of orange. This is hard to read. I feel like I’m trying to navigate to someone’s MySpace page–yeah, the layout is that circuitous.

Columbia University sent me something really cool, right? Nope. Just a double-wide postcard style “invitation to an introduction to Columbia.” What does that mean, exactly? Apparently admissions officers are travelling “throughout the world to speak with prospective students and families this fall” and I can “learn about academics, student life, residence halls, study abroad, undergraduate research, internships, admissions, financial aid, and much more.” Phew, that’s a mouthful. The Boston event is October15 (a Sunday afternoon) which means that I probably won’t be able to go. It doesn’t seem like I need to go; I would like to, but it will probably be really inconvenient to come down just for that day. If I’m around that weekend, who knows. Columbia asks for an RSVP 3 days beforehand so we still have a month and a half to decide whether or not I’ll go.

Wesleyan University sent me an application, too. This photograph is sited very well–the photographer is facing some trees such that nothing but beautiful autumn foliage is visible. Having visited I know that that’s a little bit deceptive; a landscape shot from Foss Hill would be a better indication of the campus scenery, but I don’t mind a nice picture here or there. Wesleyan is very not-so-subtly emphasizing their penchant for diveristy; if we took the cover of the application to be a suitable cross-section of the student body, Wesleyan is 40% black. I’m surprised too! It’s a fine picture, no worries. Wesleyan’s Pre-Application business always throws me off a little bit, but the advantages of more information via their WesID system make up for the weirdness, I’d imagine.

University of Michigan mailed me a cape. Not really, but they sent me a 16 x 24″ fold-open thing. I don’t know what to do with these. Am I expected to put it on my wall, such is my love for the school? Or perhaps neatly fold it back up and then unfold it again whenever I want to get information? I understand that these are optimal formats for printing large montages and collages and such, but they aren’t all that easy to follow, in my experience. They’re cool, but I sometimes feel like I’m fumbling with a complex origami creation that, should I fold or open a sheet wrong, will be all but unintelligible. “Quick facts” + “Viewbook lite” is the end impression, I think.

New York University mailed me an application, too. Just kidding. They mailed me a form asking me to request an application (mail) or to go online to get the application there. Cheapskates, sure, but at least they’re saving paper along with money. They said that they were doing this because so many students were just using the online application in recent years; fair enough. They explained it nicely and it came in a larger-format envelope with nice printwork on it and heavyweight paper. It’s not one of those flimsy budget-chopping measures. Cool. Buried halfway down the attached letter was this: “Of course, how you apply to NYU is not as important as is the process of deciding whether to apply in the first place.” Really? Bright thinking. “Over the next few months we will be providing you with information that should help with your decision. We are very different from other colleges and universities, and we know we are not the best choice for everyone.” Fantastic–that should have been at the top. The enclosed “guide to applying to NYU” doesn’t really benefit me much if I don’t know if I want to apply, does it? Yes, I visited and attended an information session, and yes, you’ve sent me some stuff before. But still…

Williams College sent me something so that Amherst’s application wouldn’t get lonely waiting at the Post Office to be delivered, but it wasn’t very exciting. Just a letter in a plain ‘ol envelope. Special features: fancy purple masthead. The letter was handled well; it was a “Quick Facts” sheet, the kind that they sometimes have out in admissions offices. The structure was good and it started out right: “By now the promised Prospectus should have arrived in your mailbox…” It did! And I did “Take the time to read it” and thought it was very nice. It had a very interesting binding which I remember fondly, among its many interesting features and content. One thing in this letter from Richard L. Nesbitt, Director of Admission, was a little weird: a few lines in the letter said that “We’ve tried to articulate a few themes that help to capture life at Williams: intense and collaborative; brainy and active; spirited and self-deprecating.” Maybe a little oxymoronic, too? That was smoothed over by the next sentence, though: “Capturing the essence of a college and its culture in a viewbook without lapsing into cliches can present a challenge, but we feel we’ve given it a good shot in and honest way and in our own “voice”. Of course, ultimately, that’s up to you to decide.” Well-phrased, even if the envelope was boring.

University of Pennsylvania (Last but not least!) sent me their uberpacket, an application along with a viewbook. The viewbook was… quite stunningly photographed in many places. Sometimes I was overwhelmed by glossy shots of campus or students or Philadelphia. Very polished, extremely tight layout. The covers featured stonework, which isn’t exactly hip, but that fits with a theme of “professionalism”. The front was the seal of William Penn. I’d have preferred a dapper shot of Ben Franklin having a party, but I’m sure they do that every year and had to change things up a little bit. But you know what? Penn has a right to have so much gorgeous photography in its viewbook, because the campus is breathtaking. Okay, okay, my breath wasn’t taken away from the beauty so much as the fact that I was choking in 105 degree humid air, but that’s not the point. It was stunning, which is why even the over-the-top photos are mostly believable. This clean presentation conveyed the information quite readily, and it was easy on the eyes to boot. Extra special viewbook feature? It came in a nice seal-emblazoned blue sleeve. Too bad NYU did that for me months ago… Clearly they ran out of ink or something for the Application, because it was just printed on plain normal paper with “Penn” and the seal in blue-on-white. Not that I really care or that that’s a bad thing. I’d already seen this app from when I was writing essays; before it was just on my computer.

And that’s it for this week! What will arrive next week? Not as much, I don’t think. After that, mail will be really chancy since everyone only has my home address and I’ll be at school.