the Sam Jackson College Experience

Cameron Dabaghi, BK '11, a good friend who was part of the Yale-PKU program with me, died yesterday evening in New York City.

I am making a post about this because I've seen too many reports from trashy tabloid like newspapers that just wanted to get pageviews or attention from flashy notice of this, since Cameron jumped from the Empire State Building. As a result the internet is now full of hundreds of flash updates on twitter, blogs, and elsewhere sharing this news. What does it matter to strangers online it was this particular 21 year old student, Yale East Asian Studies major, from Austin, TX, who died? It is terrible that in this time of grief the various NYC and other blogs and updating everyone and posting new photos of the site at 34th street including pictures of them taking away the body in an ambulance. At least, it is terrible to those deeply distressed here at Yale. Maybe that gets pageviews otherwise; I know it is not something I am ordinarily interested in and I think it's not good behavior or respect to do so.

Why are random news sources reporting his name to their followers online? I didn't post anything because I wanted to give Cameron's friends and family time without drawing on more media attention to this, but since that has already happened, I wanted to try to remove some of the noise by posting something legitimately descriptive and telling  how Cameron was a good person. I know that this post will be overwhelmed on the internet by HuffPo and others but wanted to add it to internet posterity all the same, for what little difference it makes.

Cameron was a great guy and a good friend, to quote another Yale-PKUer, Kai Chao,

"I would like to say that even though Cameron has left, his memories remain deep inside each and every one of us. Cameron was a great gentleman, never selfish, always considerate, ever-so-loving, nicest guy ever. We will remember every great moment that we had."

I have known Cameron since freshman year (he used to be in Trumbull before he transferred, and lived 1 floor above me) and got to know him much better from travel and study in China last semester. Cameron was always excited to explore and learn new things about China; he really seemed to be the personification of all the good natured 外国留学生 who we would read about in our textbooks, doing 课外活动 (outside of class activities) to make friends and understand China and chinese. He made friends wherever he went  and even got married on the Burmese border!

I don't have any clues as to what might have motivated him to these actions, but it comes as a terrible shock to all of us in the program. Just last Saturday we had a little reunion dinner and everyone was having a great time, laughing and chatting and telling stories. I don't know what was going on in Cameron's head at the time, but my thoughts are with his family, especially his younger sister who is a current freshman in Berkeley College.

Rest in peace Cameron, we will all miss you very much. Here is a picture of Cameron and us at that dinner, having a good time. It is memories like these that will always spring forth when thinking about Cameron and all of our adventures together in China.

Also of note: If you are at Yale, and need to talk, you can always call 203-432-TALK (Walden Counseling), and counselors are available at YUHS all night tonight.  You may walk in at any time or call 203-432-0123.  The Chaplain’s Office in the basement of Bingham Hall will also be open until 11:00 p.m. tonight and tomorrow night.

EDIT, 4:30 PM 3/31:  Apparently this didn't come through clear enough here, or perhaps it is just because "Cameron Dabaghi" is currently #6 Google trending topic, and "empire state building jumper" is #11, but: I don't want to make comments or talk to newspapers about this, etc, I think Cameron's family and all deserve time and not just to have this picked over by the press right now.

Update 4/05: We made a scrapbook to send to Cameron's family full of photos and stories. Here's what I wrote:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I knew Cameron from freshman year, before he left Trumbull, but only really got to spend time with him last semester. I was happy to hear he'd be in the program with me, that we could catch up: Yale is full of too many situations like that, friendships full of promise, left untended in our bustle and haste. Cameron did not err as I did, though: he always made sure to cultivate friends and connections everywhere and in all the languages he could. It was Cameron who would call out to me on the paths between Trumbull and Berkeley, where we'd see each other walking to class, or in the halls of our Chinese classes, before he leapfrogged me with summer study.

Describing him to those who did not know him, I have been characterizing Cameron as the perfect foreign exchange student, the kind comically typified in our Chinese books -- eager to explore a new culture and to make new friends, unafraid of foolishness, courageous and hardworking in his efforts to learn more about the places and people around him and to participate in all its activities. I mourn Cameron not just for the loss of someone who has touched my life, but for what I know he would have been able to do in the world with his desire to make a difference and his ability to connect with others.

Stoic and reserved at times, but always there for his friends, in China I got to know more of Cameron: his sharp wit and humor, and intense compassion and consideration for others. He is someone who lead by example in his personal actions, inspiring those around him to challenge themselves. There is no way to do him justice with these scarce words alone, but I will carry his memory with me always. We made so many memories together in China, and I am so saddened to imagine the void that remains, the now-missing element in any gathering of our close group.

What I do know is that whenever I think of Cameron, I will remember him most for those times when he opened up, smiled, and shared himself with us. The time we 'married' him in Yunnan, we volunteered Cameron to be costumed and lead us in dance; how he took to it! He handled life with such aplomb. I will never forget him, as a peer, a fellow adventurer, but most of all as a friend.

Sam Jackson
TC '11